Hey guys so I was talking to Szajko and FZRBlack in the chat and decided to ask for input on a VERY important part of my life, my marriage. I saw the AMAZING amount of feedback everyone gave CC about his situation and I am asking because well I am also 23 and faced with the exact opposite situation. Now I will give you my side of everything and of course there is two sides to every situation but I will try to just state facts. I'm sure to some the answer would be very easy but sadly the issues I will show where my big problems arise.. and it begins.
So I have been in my current relationship for over 8 years together from a very young age ( she was 14, I was 15.) We had our daughter over 3 and half years ago and Got married almost two years ago (aug 2010) and moved in together a year and a half ago ( Jan 2011) . Yes I know we did everything pretty much in backwards order.
So a quick summary
2004- Got together
2008- Had our Daughter
2010- Got Married
2011- Moved in together
Now we have had small breaks in the relationship where she would seem to break up with me to try to pursue other options I guess for lack of a better term. So flash forward to January, we move in and I got back to work after being out with an injury. I meet a married coworker ( male) and we start becoming friends. Long story short he and my wife were planning a dinner at his house since I suck at picking food lol. Then I notice the increase in texts to her ( should have been a warning i know) which i blew off as them just getting to know each other. Anyways my sister in law was leaving for basic and he came over and gave her a massage before she left ( he use to do massage therapy) I went to bed because I needed to wake up at 4 am for work the next day my brother in law mentions he thinks something seems odd so I start to watch more. I start to notice later texts and even a drunk call to her at like 11 pm to which i make a comment to her and him about how that wont fly. A few weeks pass and he Brothers come over and they are drinking. I hear a text at midnight and finally get fed up with it and go out. I ask her brother to tell me who the text was from and he said "coworkers name" I ask him what they are talking about and he just hands me the phone. To which it is summarized to...
Her: Talking about her new Monroe piercing for a while.
Him: oh that's hot blah blah blah
Her: I bet you want to pounce on me now. ( yes she used the word pounce)
Him: Yes
At this point I send him a text from her phone GOING OFFFF. He tries to call me and instead my brother in law answers and goes off on him. Now flash forward to when she isn't drunk. She says hes tried to get in her pants before and she said no ( to which i thanked her for ) I take it pretty good towards her obviously I'm upset but I don't take it out on her for this situation. So things are ok the next few months I bought her a new car . Then one day lacking trust in her still I did something no one should ever do. I logged in to her Facebook while she was on the other computer and came on to a conversation she was having with a dude she went to school with .Roughly it went like this ( cant find the conversation on this computer sorry)
Him: Can I send you that video now
Her: Not now my husband is home.
So I come out and confront her about it because if you saw the whole conversation you would understand there had to be a previous discussion between them about this. She denies it , I'm like what is he trying to send you ( clearly I already know) shes like nothing bad blah blah blah. So I go back and i send him a message saying hey send it to this email and he does and well we all know what type of videos guys are going to send to girls. So I go off on him. At this point I'm starting to feel a trend happening. But somehow I even get past this one.
Now I've spent a lot of time telling you these stories and why? Well she moved out the end of March because she says we have to many arguments . I being someone who values marriage understand its not something you just jump in and out of. I've talked about trying counseling and she always seems to be like yeah we could but never seems to turn in to anything. I want to keep my marriage even after all this because well I do still love her and I love my daughter. But I guess I just want to see it from the outside in. Should I still try or should I just cut my loses for say.
I am sorry if this seems like a bunch of rambling well because it kinda is, my brain is just running around in circles on this issue. Trust me if I knew what to do I wouldn't have put my marital problems on blast like I just did.I appreciate if you have read through this entire thing and have given the time of your day to help with some input.
So I have been in my current relationship for over 8 years together from a very young age ( she was 14, I was 15.) We had our daughter over 3 and half years ago and Got married almost two years ago (aug 2010) and moved in together a year and a half ago ( Jan 2011) . Yes I know we did everything pretty much in backwards order.
So a quick summary
2004- Got together
2008- Had our Daughter
2010- Got Married
2011- Moved in together
Now we have had small breaks in the relationship where she would seem to break up with me to try to pursue other options I guess for lack of a better term. So flash forward to January, we move in and I got back to work after being out with an injury. I meet a married coworker ( male) and we start becoming friends. Long story short he and my wife were planning a dinner at his house since I suck at picking food lol. Then I notice the increase in texts to her ( should have been a warning i know) which i blew off as them just getting to know each other. Anyways my sister in law was leaving for basic and he came over and gave her a massage before she left ( he use to do massage therapy) I went to bed because I needed to wake up at 4 am for work the next day my brother in law mentions he thinks something seems odd so I start to watch more. I start to notice later texts and even a drunk call to her at like 11 pm to which i make a comment to her and him about how that wont fly. A few weeks pass and he Brothers come over and they are drinking. I hear a text at midnight and finally get fed up with it and go out. I ask her brother to tell me who the text was from and he said "coworkers name" I ask him what they are talking about and he just hands me the phone. To which it is summarized to...
Her: Talking about her new Monroe piercing for a while.
Him: oh that's hot blah blah blah
Her: I bet you want to pounce on me now. ( yes she used the word pounce)
Him: Yes
At this point I send him a text from her phone GOING OFFFF. He tries to call me and instead my brother in law answers and goes off on him. Now flash forward to when she isn't drunk. She says hes tried to get in her pants before and she said no ( to which i thanked her for ) I take it pretty good towards her obviously I'm upset but I don't take it out on her for this situation. So things are ok the next few months I bought her a new car . Then one day lacking trust in her still I did something no one should ever do. I logged in to her Facebook while she was on the other computer and came on to a conversation she was having with a dude she went to school with .Roughly it went like this ( cant find the conversation on this computer sorry)
Him: Can I send you that video now
Her: Not now my husband is home.
So I come out and confront her about it because if you saw the whole conversation you would understand there had to be a previous discussion between them about this. She denies it , I'm like what is he trying to send you ( clearly I already know) shes like nothing bad blah blah blah. So I go back and i send him a message saying hey send it to this email and he does and well we all know what type of videos guys are going to send to girls. So I go off on him. At this point I'm starting to feel a trend happening. But somehow I even get past this one.
Now I've spent a lot of time telling you these stories and why? Well she moved out the end of March because she says we have to many arguments . I being someone who values marriage understand its not something you just jump in and out of. I've talked about trying counseling and she always seems to be like yeah we could but never seems to turn in to anything. I want to keep my marriage even after all this because well I do still love her and I love my daughter. But I guess I just want to see it from the outside in. Should I still try or should I just cut my loses for say.
I am sorry if this seems like a bunch of rambling well because it kinda is, my brain is just running around in circles on this issue. Trust me if I knew what to do I wouldn't have put my marital problems on blast like I just did.I appreciate if you have read through this entire thing and have given the time of your day to help with some input.