Hi Melissa! Welcome to the Forum. I agree, finding gear is hard... Here is what I have found so far:
For a jacket, the best fit I have found is Olympia Sports Switchback
Olympia Women's Switchback Mesh Jacket - Motorcycle Superstore
But the problem with that one is that the sleeves are short, just like you said... It is snug in the shoulders but I have wide shoulders. And long arms. Which is why the sleeves are short. As for size, I wear an M, even though I'm in about the middle of S category for weight, according to their sizing chart, height 5'7". In the riding position I have about 1.5 - 2 inches between the end of the sleeve and the bone bump in the wrist. Torso fits very well (snug but not too tight on me) and hits my hips perfectly; is not too short and does not bunch up. As for options, this jacket truly is a 3 season jacket and of exceptional quality, with amazing armor! The liner also acts as a jacket, and it actually looks like a stand alone unit. I have a red and black one.
For gloves, I would recommend something like these:
Alpinestars Women's Stella GP Plus Gloves - Motorcycle Superstore
I have something similar from AlpineStar but I wish I had found these, they look like they would cover my wrist even better. The gloves I got were mesh with great protection and padding, and about $80, and the most comfortable gloves I have ever owned. So I would definitely by the same brand again.
For boots I wear the men's version of these:
Gaerne Women's Black Rose Boots - Motorcycle Superstore
But I have wide feet, if you have normal "girl feet" then you'd probably like these...

Mine are very comfortable and with great protection. They are hot in the summer, as they are not vented. I'd guess these would be, too.
I can't help you with pants.... I purchased Fieldsheer mesh pants with warm/waterproof liner, which I think were replaced by these:
Fieldsheer Women's Titanium Air 4.0 Mesh Pants - Closeout - Motorcycle Superstore
But I can't recommend the ones I have and from the picture it doesn't look like they got any better. They are very big and flappy and the knee pads were in the wrong place so badly that I had to un-stitch the knee pad pouch and re-attach it lower. And they are too short for a sporty riding position, even though my boots keep my shins covered.
That's all I have - hopefully it helps!
