What should a father do?

[RandiZ]

As a former pain in the ass teenager and now the parent of two teenagers, I recommend first and foremost stall. If he really wants it and you strongly object he could either wait for a few years or do it behind your back. The first is not bad, the second is a set up for a future bad relationship with you. Encourage your wife to be a team and create a situation that works for both of you first, so that you present as much of a united front as possible with your son. Again, this is to prevent a secret from developing, in our house the ultimate sin.

As a science teacher I know that teens have "swiss cheese for frontal lobes." Meaning they are just developing their true understanding of consequences of their behavior. But, the reality is they learn best, like the rest of us, by making mistakes. Can't tell you how much I've struggled with this stuff when I dropped my 18 year old daughter at college in another state. There are so many things I wanted her to do differently, some of which could have impacted her safety as far as I was concerned. But she worked out the budget details and will have to live with the consequences -- successes and failures belong to her. Either way, I get to be a proud parent.

 

[motoguy82]

I quit reading after page 1. I voted no. He should get his own bike...or his own car...or own mode of transportation. He's 19. If you get it for him, he won't take care of it or appreciate it like he would if he paid-for/earned it. Are you paying for college too? Your son will thank you later if you tell him he needs to save for it and get it himself.

 

[2010FZ6R White Lightning]

^^ i was raised the same way, i never got along with my parents at home and they always made me pay for everything myself. everyone else was getting cell phones and gameboys and whatever was cool at the time, and i had whatever i could buy with money from my chores and stuff. i gotta admit i wasnt the biggest fan of my parents for a long while but after moving out i realized they gave me the skills to survive as all my other friends that moved out ran into trouble and went bankrupt or moved back in with their parents or whatever the case. independance is a good thing and i plan on being just as hard on my kids if/when that happens.

 

[CDN6R]

I quit reading after page 1. I voted no. He should get his own bike...or his own car...or own mode of transportation. He's 19. If you get it for him, he won't take care of it or appreciate it like he would if he paid-for/earned it. Are you paying for college too? Your son will thank you later if you tell him he needs to save for it and get it himself.

Same thing for me here. When I was 15/16 I wanted a motorcycle bad. I had pics of Honda 750 K's / 350 - 4's/ Kawi triples on my bedroom walls. I got my drivers licence in grade 11 through "Drivers Ed" and later talked about getting a motorcycle licence. My Dad said ,,"When you are out on your own,with a job you can do what you want." So in 1978 I started working for Michelin Tire and ASAP wnet to the bank got a loan and bought my 1st bike. This established a credit line for me and taught me that since I bought it ,I was responciple to look after it.

 

[DragonBlu]

Make him pay for some of it so he has a stake in the game...

I agree with this above,or make him pay for all of it. I paid for all of mine from the time I was 16,against my parents wishes.
If you feel he's responsible enough,let him get one. My son has wanted one for years but I never promoted it. I figured if he wanted bad enough he would get it and then I would help him become the safest rider I could. But-------I voted no.

 

[Stephenfz6r]

A motorcycle is not a good primary vehicle for anyone. This will force him to ride on days he should use a car, Rain, Cold ...

 

[Chucker]

A motorcycle is not a good primary vehicle for anyone. This will force him to ride on days he should use a car, Rain, Cold ...

I have to disagree. If you don't mind the weather, it's fine as a primary vehicle. I had a bike as my only vehicle from age 17 until 20. I didn't even get my car license until I was 20 as I didn't have a car to drive. There were days it sucked, but it was my choice.

 

[Detrich]

the point is... 'no' doesn't mean no forever. it just means no for 'right now'...

i know i will get flamed for saying this, but all other things being equal, using a bike as primary mode of transportation is inherently riskier than commuting in a car- period.

as a parent, u need to look out for your kid's safety- even when it means being tough and putting decisions like this off... when he's older & more mature, then u can re-visit the subject.

it's called tough love...

it doesn't mean that i don't think all teenagers shouldn't ride. i know every situation is unique and ppl all have diff levels of maturity. am just saying in the context of this particular situation, i think it's best to err on the side of being conservative. plus, ur wife has already made her position crystal clear.

 

[iSpoolin]

Bottom line is, can you trust your son to take it easy, wear his gear, and obey your rules and the law while riding?

The answer to that is the answer to this thread.

 

[Chucker]

There's a lot to be said for showing your kids you have confidence in them. It helps them gain more confidence in themselves. At 19, he's an adult. Some 19 year olds are extremely mature and responsible. Others are not. I sure am glad my parents had the confidence in me that they let me get a bike. It had much more of an impact than just making me happy I got a bike.

As a parent, I can tell you that if you teach your kids to be responsible and instill confidence in them, they will be much more successful in everything they do. The key is knowing when they are responsible enough to take on certain challenges, like getting a bike. My Dad was confident that I would take his teachings and use them to be a safe and responsible rider. He taught me to respect the bike and it's dangers, and to use that knowledge and respect to be safe and make good decisions. That affected a lot more in my life than just riding.

 

[PWJ]

Here's my take on this. Im 22. I wanted a bike since 17 when I got my m class license. Had the money but parents were strictly against it and had good threats if I did buy it then so I didn't. I went off to college and blew that saved up money with nothing to show for it but memories. Last summer I made some money and after riding by roommates new ducati I knew I was gonna get a bike so in the beginning of this school year in august I told them hey I want to get a bike. I wanted to buy a personal for sale bike and needed a loan but the bank require a co signer. Well they disagreed and I told them I was still gonna get one. Went to yamaha two days later and bought the fz6r with no co signer. They knew I was gonna get one they just still did not want to support it. Now they talk about it with me plus I gave my mother a ride two weeks ago and her face light up. I had a crash in October on a different bike and had to have surgery on my right hand. I learned a valid lesson from that crash. My point is that I was held bent on gettin a bike and after carefully examining my financial situation I did just that. If your son has the money don't be surprised if he does buy a bike. If your son is responsible and acknowledges the danger of a bike then I see no reason to not support it. Either way you look at things a bike is a toy that needs someone who can respect it. I say go for it putting into co sideration your son is responsible enough for it. Don't get a 250 because that will lead to quickly out growing and respecting the bike. Fz6r is just enough for respect and not to quickly outgrow it.

 

[Speedv1]

Honestly it's going to depend child to child. I'm a kid myself, at 21, got my first bike about a year ago. That being said, I had a little checklist before getting into biking...

-Am I safe driving a car?
If not then.. yix lol

-What experience do I have driving a car?
kms, record of set kms, etc - for me I'd driven about 75,000km no accidents, so I felt it was safe for me to get into biking. Imo people should have experienced driving fairly extensively in a car (and thus protection) before jumping on a bike

-Can I AFFORD not just the bike, but the gear, insure, maintenance, etc?
I think everyone should buy their own car/bike, as you'll care so much more for it. I'm not saying your son won't take care of it, but there's a higher chance (imo) that he won't. I've bought every one of my cars and bikes, and I treat them like angels - whereas, to use an example, my one friend was given an M3 and it's got dents all over it, brakes rusted etc - we're not really friends anymore lol. Also gear - oooh gear. $500 minimum to start off (I'd say.. helmet, jacket, pants, boots, gloves), I probably put in more like $1500, but that's obviously my choice. Insurance - never fun, and maintenance can get costly too. But if you're planning to insure/purchase/maintain it for him then this may be irrelevant to you.

-Is my family comfortable with me biking?
I'd prefer that they're all comfortable with it (and with some discussions they were), but if not then maybe wait a year and try again (obviously at a certain age I'd just do it - I have respect for my parents (a rarity, I know )


And after I got through all of that I signed up for an MSF course and had a bike within 2 months!

 

[motoneta123]

I quit reading after page 1. I voted no. He should get his own bike...or his own car...or own mode of transportation. He's 19. If you get it for him, he won't take care of it or appreciate it like he would if he paid-for/earned it. Are you paying for college too? Your son will thank you later if you tell him he needs to save for it and get it himself.

yes we pay for the car, insurance, phone, college and a very small allowance for gas, he works part time and we dont want him to work full time until he graduates. I'll pay for the MSF course too, but based on the imput i got here i'll help him to get the bike (co-sign or some $$) but will have to pay most of it and he wont be close to any bike before passing MSF course! Thanks to everyone for your opinions it really helped us a lot!!

 

[motoneta123]

Bottom line is, can you trust your son to take it easy, wear his gear, and obey your rules and the law while riding?

The answer to that is the answer to this thread.

IMO no parent in the world can be sure his teen will do as told all the time, even if they do we are always checking them just in case

 

[CDN6R]

:thumbup: You make some really good points there Chucker and I applaud your reasoning. Motoneta,, I do not know you son or anything about him..but you have lots of good opinions here, both positive and negative. All I can really say is THANKYOU for asking us for OUR opinions and thoughts. Now the ball,,,I feel is in your corner to come up with an answer. Being that you took the time and had the maturity to ask for help,,,tells me that between you,your wife and son you will make the correct decision. All the best,, Laurence (Laurie) Potter

 

[motoneta123]

:thumbup: You make some really good points there Chucker and I applaud your reasoning. Motoneta,, I do not know you son or anything about him..but you have lots of good opinions here, both positive and negative. All I can really say is THANKYOU for asking us for OUR opinions and thoughts. Now the ball,,,I feel is in your corner to come up with an answer. Being that you took the time and had the maturity to ask for help,,,tells me that between you,your wife and son you will make the correct decision. All the best,, Laurence (Laurie) Potter

First: thanks to everyone for your help!
as i wrote in my previous post we made a decision based mostly on the answers we got here. who said STALL? thank you!
1> first we'll get him a new car
2> if he still wants a bike after that we'll enroll him in the MSF course. He cant get on any bike before that!
3> after he gets his endorsement if he still wants the bike he'll have to save some money and we'll help him to buy it ($$ or loan co-singn)
and again, thank you guys!

 

[b_who]

looks like you made a good choice :thumbup:
i'm 21 and my dad has been riding sense i can remember and was a lot like your case as he was hesitant and my mom would have NOTHING to do with it..she told him if anything happens to me its on him.
i got my license when i was 17 and practice on his big ass harley (which wasnt fun because i was afraid to drop that 800 pound cow lol) but he told me the only thing he would do was co-sign to lower the interest and the rest was on me
so i didn't end up getting a bike till about 6 months ago and although ive still got a lot to learn i think it was a good thing to wait as i work part time and go to school full time and ive matured a lot sense then and considering if i wreck my bike im paying for something i dont have which has kept me from doing a lot of reckless things my dad and im sure you'd be worried about.
so id say make him buy it'll help him learn the value of a dollar real quick and its not that hard to work part time and go to school as much as ppl think

p.s.A piece of advise for what i did is save up $1500 so he can do a decent down payment and have money to buy at least a decent helmet, jacket,gloves and have sum extra cash left over encase something happens or to get ahead on payments to boost his credit score a little

hopes this helps a little

 

[Sparkxx1]

I'm glad you decided on a stalled yes and not an outright no. As one of the "teens" being categorized here I'm only 21, but being denied up front with no discussion REALLY hurts. The guy is working part time, and it looks like he's in college. He is doing the right thing in life and he might deserve some trust thrown his way. A guy can't live without security based on himself, if he is babied, he will only be getting the short end of the stick later on. In my family we believe in teaching respect for vehicles( and many other things such as sex, school, alcohol) early on. My dad would pull me up to see a case on tv, where there was a crash, or drunk driving, or this and that. I was put in the drivers seat the help my dad park the car since I was 10. Or here turn on the car for me, but you cannot do anything else. Just sit and warm up the car. If it was cold just rev it up to 2000 and hold it there until the car is warm. Boy, oh boy, was I excited.

I was proud to start with my younger sister a couple of days ago. My dad doesn't really let her start the car or park the car. I think they baby her too much though, because she is way smarter than I was. I don't think the lights were on half the time since I day dreamed so much. My buddy was fixing his ex250 so I threw her the bike keys( I see how much her eyes light up when she sees a bike.) I went here, go turn that thing on and I'll teach you some stuff. I taught her some basics. I didn't go in detail because its probably too much right now. I taught her that the bike must be in neutral blah blah to start, put the bike up, and kickstand back. Turn it on while holding this lever called the clutch. It only took two stalls for her to learn some respect for the bike. She got off, she was happy, excited, but ready to jump off because she knows she isn't ready, and she knows it isn't as easy as I make it seem sometimes(Even though I'm a noob. ) Growing up I'll make her get gear and take her on small rides, blah blah. I can't wait until I have my own kids to do this. :thumbup:

 

[Detrich]

i think you made a wise choice... your son will understand that you just want him to demonstrate to you guys that he can be a responsible "driver" -first-. and, upon success, then you will consider allowing him to enroll in the MSF and possibly look at a bike thereafter.

if he drives safely, has zero tickets, and zero accidents, then at least he's demonstrating responsibility and working towards earning the privilege to ride a bike.

but, if he gets speeding tickets, parking tickets, and any type of fender bender, then (a) at least you'll know he's still alive, and (b) you'll know he's -not- responsible enough to be on a bike. and, he won't be able to argue against those facts.

hopefully, you guys have a trusting and loving relationship with your son already. i've seen way too many "spoiled" and "rebellious" teenagers who would go behind their parents and buy the bike secretly and store it at their friends' house. i would think it goes against everything a parent wants to see in their kids behavior.

 

[pballer23]

I am 19 years old right now, and just upgraded from my ninja 250 to a brand new FZ6R. If you are considering letting your son get a bike, let him get the bike he wants. A deal I made with my dad was that he would invest some portion if I got a bike that we thought both of us would like. It scared me away from one of those super sports to something that just ends up being a decent all around bike. It's crazy how a few hundred bucks will change a young individuals mind on something hes got his heart really set on.

Also, make your son take one of those Basic Rider Courses. It's a 16 hour course of riding, and learning the necessities if your going to be a motorcycle rider. You learn the dangers and statistics and realize that you take a risk every time you ride a motorcycle. I think the best that this course does is teaches defensive driving - a skill many bikers in today's day in age lack.

If you want my honest opinion, the ninja 250 was a waste. It was fun bike, but I think my FZ6R handles better, rides smoother, and most importantly can maintain higher speeds (I live in the country and have to ride a county road. The ninja at 60+ seems a bit squeemish.) Also the insurance is pretty outrageous, I was paying more money for liability on that bike than what I'm paying full coverage on my new bike - the insurance guy said the ninja was considered a sport bike, and a much higher risk.