rough time..

[Michael Wilson]

Hey boys I been having a rough time last 2 days. Me and my fiance broke up yesterday, a day after my birthday and a day before our anneversary. Been real rough for me. We been arguing but just over small litle things nothing major so I'm still confused. Idk boys I just need man talk.

 

[Fizzer6R]

have you asked her to sit down and have a serious talk about "us" ? you know but both need to hear it now more than anytime, communication is key. good luck man, relationships are sometimes very tough

 

[nismos14]

Are you sure you're not swinging the other way... "boys"...?


Anyways, just kidding. If she broke it off then it may have been for the best, if it wasn't then you guys will be back together. Just take the time apart to make a real judgement call - was she really the one, would you be happy the rest of your life with her by yourside?

 

[tatty2012]

It could be for the better... Not meaning that in a bad way. Maybe you two need some time apart to see if you two were meant to be or not. Some time apart can be a good thing in the end.

 

[r0ar]

Hey boys I been having a rough time last 2 days. Me and my fiance broke up yesterday, a day after my birthday and a day before our anneversary. Been real rough for me. We been arguing but just over small litle things nothing major so I'm still confused. Idk boys I just need man talk.

Hey man if you need someone to talk to I am here , God knows I have been through hell and im sure you've seen my " Should I stay or should I go?" thread. Just pm me man. I can't stop the pain man but I can at least talk you through some of it.

 

[dart1963]

well, do you want to be away from her? or do you want to try to work it out? If you want it to work, fight for her, if she still doesn't, not much you can do after that but to move on.

FWIW, ALL couple argue... it's what you do after that matters...

 

[Michael Wilson]

She said she would still help pay the bills and she would come by to check on me and occassionally spend the nighbt. So the first time she comes over I'm going to try to work it out with her. I'm hopinf we just need time apart because besides from work we are always together and we are also broke so we don't go out often. Idk ill keep you guys posted

 

[Brock Kickass]

Tough. I hope it gets better. Communication is important. My wife and I have a huge pile going on right now, buying a house, changing jobs, etc... I have noticed myself stewing about things but not saying much to avoid a fight because things are already stressful. Wrong answer. We finally had a talk about what's on our minds, and a lot of pressure came right off. When I was trying to avoid a fight it was just causing us to fight about stupid stuff and avoid the important stuff. Anyway, every situation is different. I sure hope you guys can figure it out. Take yourself outside the situation and have an objective look. It's hard, but it helps. Don't be afraid to admit what you are doing wrong, and what she is doing that you don't like. Hiding from it will not make it go away. Good luck. Keep your head up and pull through. And do plenty of riding to keep your head on straight.

 

[Nastybutler]

Sorry to hear that, man. It's hard to offer advice in a situation like this. I had a girl I was dating for over a year and cared for a lot break up with me on my birthday. I took it pretty bad. Did some things I shouldn't have to take my mind off of her. The only thing that helps is time. Sounds cliched, but it's true.

 

[Michael Wilson]

Tough. I hope it gets better. Communication is important. My wife and I have a huge pile going on right now, buying a house, changing jobs, etc... I have noticed myself stewing about things but not saying much to avoid a fight because things are already stressful. Wrong answer. We finally had a talk about what's on our minds, and a lot of pressure came right off. When I was trying to avoid a fight it was just causing us to fight about stupid stuff and avoid the important stuff. Anyway, every situation is different. I sure hope you guys can figure it out. Take yourself outside the situation and have an objective look. It's hard, but it helps. Don't be afraid to admit what you are doing wrong, and what she is doing that you don't like. Hiding from it will not make it go away. Good luck. Keep your head up and pull through. And do plenty of riding to keep your head on straight.

That's what happened with us. Financial problems ect ect. Its rough

 

[BKP]

What you do depends...
Some couples have these break-ups with their morning coffee... Just part of a routine, and it operates like a pressure valve -- and is typically the case all their lives...
For others, it's not same ol same ol... But, if that's the case, there's an issue that *does* need addressing...

Which one are you? Column B? Figure out where you f'cked up... And either apologize, or compromise...


EDIT: P.S. I'm divorced twice... so take *my* advice with a grain of salt (and a scotch and water)...

... then again, I'm best of friends with both my exes (because my break-ups were amicable, and well-considered, as opposed to knee-jerk and emotional... so, I *may* know the difference).

 

[MistahT]

My wife and I dated for 7 years before we got married. Around the 5 year mark we actually broke up for about a year. The break actually did us both well and we're stronger for it.

Maybe some time apart will do you both well. Either way, my best to you. Keep your sanity. Hey, if you want to come to the Washington DC area, wifey and I have a spare room and beers are on me
:iconbeer:

 

[Marthy]

Sorry to hear that Bro. Been there done that. If you care about her be nice and cool with her but don't be pushy... that might scare her away even more. Give her some space and if she belong with you she will be back. Time for a nice few days bike ride to think thing through... Hang on Bro, we are all with you.

 

[nismos14]

She said she would still help pay the bills and she would come by to check on me and occassionally spend the nighbt. So the first time she comes over I'm going to try to work it out with her. I'm hopinf we just need time apart because besides from work we are always together and we are also broke so we don't go out often. Idk ill keep you guys posted

Why bother splitting up then? The highlighted stuff should be avoided at ALL costs. You'll never be able to cut the ties that bind. Either you're both all in, or all out.

 

[Blue-Sun]

Here is my 2 cents...

I've never been married and I'm in my mid forties. I got engaged once and almost got married... She called it off at the last minute. I really felt like my world collapsed and my life was over, but life continued and I got over it. In hind sight, I'm glad she called it off because she wasn't sure and wasn't comfortable. If I had tried to "mend" things and beg her to come back, I know eventually we would have been divorced. She went on to marry someone much older and lived happily ever after.

I went on to follow my "nomadic" gene and travel all of the United States, every couple of years moving to a new state. As far as girlfriends, my Dad gave me one bit of useful advice, he told me "Son, if you miss the bus, relax another one will be by in about ten minutes", which always seems to ring true.

My married friends always seem to be having problems and always complaining about every subject in the world; more than one of them have told me the "grass is greener on my side of the fence". I think I would tend to agree.

Your fiancee' left you for a reason. It was probably a tough decision for her to make, and she didn't take it lightly. I know it's hard, but its time to let this one go. If you try to fix this, it will just delay the healing process... and allow yourself some time to heal, then start back over. If you decide you need a bigger life change, move to a new state, change jobs, etc.

All the best...

 

[Michael Wilson]

thanks for the great advice guys. Its good to get advice from older guys then myself that have been through it all. its helping me alot reading your guy's experiences and advice

 

[Scott_Thomas]

Sorry to hear that bro, been through my share of breakups and near breakups (one divorce). I've been married this time for 5 years and together for 9. Been through some serious ups and downs with my wife, came close to divorce a couple of times (almost always over money or family). Like some others have said, maybe some time apart will be good. I know if it's not your decision it can be harder, but take this time to get things in order and work on your life. Don't run out and do something you may regret, most of us here probably have done that once, or twice, well a bunch of times. LOL! Keep us updated via this thread. Good luck!

 

[Superzoom]

Hey boys I been having a rough time last 2 days. Me and my fiance broke up yesterday, a day after my birthday and a day before our anneversary. Been real rough for me. We been arguing but just over small litle things nothing major so I'm still confused. Idk boys I just need man talk.

Hi MW,

So sorry to hear about your serious trouble.

Let me be the one to say this... Consider the possibility that your ex is seeing someone else. Why would I say this? It happened to me. Ex wanted a divorce out of the blue, I asked her if she was seeing someone else, she flat out said no. We divorced, but during our separation, I found out that she had in fact been seeing someone else.

I've heard of this happening to others as well. Sometimes, if the break up doesn't make sense, then there's a reason.

Just something to consider. I was absolutely heartbroken and distraught and wasted a lot of energy, time and emotion trying to win my ex back because I didn't know she was actually seeing someone else.

Don't be ashamed to try to find out the truth. You deserve it. You are officially broken up, so you can do what you need to to console yourself.

I hope that what happened to me is not happening to you. Best of luck with your situation.

By the way, I'm with someone else now and I've never been happier.

 

[Michael Wilson]

Sorry to hear that bro, been through my share of breakups and near breakups (one divorce). I've been married this time for 5 years and together for 9. Been through some serious ups and downs with my wife, came close to divorce a couple of times (almost always over money or family). Like some others have said, maybe some time apart will be good. I know if it's not your decision it can be harder, but take this time to get things in order and work on your life. Don't run out and do something you may regret, most of us here probably have done that once, or twice, well a bunch of times. LOL! Keep us updated via this thread. Good luck!

all i wanted to do was go ride. i knew it i did i would more then likely end up in trouble with either them piggies (no offence) or end up not keeping the rubber side down.

All I live for is bikes. Thats why ive always said keep her running good and keep lookin nice and she will take care of you (the bike)

This was true because i went for a nice long ride today and it helped me get my mind off things. hit a few twisties and this and that

 

[6R Blackout]

Other than help to pay the bills, coming from a divorced father, YOU be your own man and do what you please when you please where you please how you please and who you wish to do it with. I am not saying not to have a "lady friend" but YOU come first just do your thing and all else will fall into place. Keep your head up though and this to shall pass!