his gf is cheating

[MichaelInVenice]

To tell Brian would be the right decision to me. He and josh are my friends and that why i asked them to be in my wedding. Nicole is Amy's pretty much only girlfriend. The other girls in the wedding are her family and my two sisters. We would have never though that Amy and josh would do this. I was shocked when I found out. I am really hoping that Amy and josh handle it themselves. I haven't told Brian because he WILL flip out. There's not really a question about that 1. He has told me before that if someone did touch Amy he wouldn't be able to hold back. He will go to jail.amy and Brian live together. There is a danger involved with telling him. Thats y josh and Amy won't say anything. Now Amy won't talk to Nicole because Nicole confronted her and now Amy feels attacked. Amy told Nicole that Brian needs to be handled differently than other people. He is an alcoholic. He is drunk pretty much everynight and does smell like boos in the morning. I am actually scared to tell him but them cheating behind his back can not continue. But it is. If Amy and josh call it off it will always be a big lie.

This thread has gotten long and a lot of people probably think I am POS for not saying anything. But thanks for all the replies! This is just a sick and twisted situation. Might say eff all these so called friends and just focus on me and my girl!

If you consider a person with these characteristics a friend, then you have a serious problem right from the start.

If you knew all this and chose to get involved anyway, then honestly I don't know what you were thinking.

My advice would have been, stay out of it. Knowing this stuff now I'm even more convinced that would have been the right thing. We rarely get the full picture and often get a very misleading one.

I think your recent conclusion is the right one. You need new friends.

As to what this girl needs to tell the guy she's living with, all she should do is tell him "I'm leaving," preferably after already removing all her stuff from their place.

In any case, the only concrete advise I can give you is to rethink who is going to be in your wedding party, because I think you probably have to write off all of these. That woud have eventually happened anyway, but now they'll blame you for it.

 

[Reaver]

Honesty is always a plus....could also be why I don't have any friends. Me personally id say something however it isn't going to work out for you....never does on the other hand neither is keeping your trap shut. Do what you think is right. Always makes me feel better knowing how things turned out at least I did the right thing based on my own moral code.

 

[Blueraven]

To tell Brian would be the right decision to me. He and josh are my friends and that why i asked them to be in my wedding. Nicole is Amy's pretty much only girlfriend. The other girls in the wedding are her family and my two sisters. We would have never though that Amy and josh would do this. I was shocked when I found out. I am really hoping that Amy and josh handle it themselves. I haven't told Brian because he WILL flip out. There's not really a question about that 1. He has told me before that if someone did touch Amy he wouldn't be able to hold back. He will go to jail.amy and Brian live together. There is a danger involved with telling him. Thats y josh and Amy won't say anything. Now Amy won't talk to Nicole because Nicole confronted her and now Amy feels attacked. Amy told Nicole that Brian needs to be handled differently than other people. He is an alcoholic. He is drunk pretty much everynight and does smell like boos in the morning. I am actually scared to tell him but them cheating behind his back can not continue. But it is. If Amy and josh call it off it will always be a big lie.

After seeing this, it really sounds like Amy is in real trouble. I've met a few women who have come from relationships like these and walking away is not that easy. The usually have been broken down mentally so they are too scared to leave. So it would make sense that she would try to find companionship from someone else, since it sounds like Brian isn't being a good companion to her, and keeping it a secret since he seems to favor violence and alcohol to solve his problems. While this is not the best way to handle it, some women don't know what to do. She probably didn't intend on developing feelings for Josh, but if he was kind to her (and relatively sober), it probably grew before they realized it. It even sounds like Josh is intimidated by Brian. At first I felt like Amy was being immature by cheating on Brian, but now it sounds like the secrets are for her (and Josh's) protection. So my opinion (for what it is worth) would be to ask Amy if she needs help to possibly get out of this relationship with Brian. She might be willing to do the right thing if she knew Brian couldn't hurt her. If Brian is going to flip out and as he put it "go to jail" then he is nobody's friend and needs to learn to stop being an alcoholic a-hole if he wants a relationship. He may also benefit from everybody telling him what he is doing wrong. You really should not feel guilty about holding back this info, you may have been saving someone from getting a beat down, possibly yourself. He may be your friend but he sounds like a piece of work. The length of the friendship does not indicate the quality of the friendship.

Sorry for my ramblings, I get a little opinionated in bullying situations.