success! i ended up gripping the filter with pliers and loosening it that way. they must have overtorqued this thing like CRAZY because i absolutely wrecked the filter with the pliers.Easy. Take a philips screwdriver, and a hammer. hammer the screwdriver in at the edge or side, all the way till it hits the other side. Use it like a handle to twist the foliter till it loosens and you can unscrew the rest of the way by hand.
messy, but it works.
the new filter fits those end cap wrenches nicely though
edit: my hands were a little too big so i gave it a few turns with my wrench and end cap attachment. at least it fits for the next time i oil change